A man walks into a bar. The second man sees the first man's mistake and ducks. The third man needs to take no precautions as he is a midget and can simply walk under the bar.

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Knock Knock! Come in the door is unlocked. I have cookies!

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How do you make a baby stop crying? You throw it out the window.

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How do you confuse a blond? Look at her

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what do get when you throw a penny in between a jew and a mexican? nothing besides one less penny

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This is a shovels and rakes conversation. No hoes allowed.

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A man walks into a bar, he is then escorted to the hospital as a result of brain trauma.

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I milked the cow, but no gas came out.

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There are 2 carrots sitting in a basket. One carrot says to the other; I'm a carrot! The other carrot does not reply, because carrots do not speak. Now consider the possibility, that the first carrot was a talking monkey.

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes Good. Enjoy your cold drinks.

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What's a fun place to visit on the weekend? Uranus.

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why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

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What are the seven wonders of Kentuky cows,drugs,liquor,moutain due,moster trucks,shot guns and trucks oh and I for got Crackle barrle.

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Q: Why did the black man have a gun? A: We was recently indicted for insider trading and preferred suicide to a long prison sentence.

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why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

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Hey, you must be a parking ticket. Because you are on the windshield of my car.

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your mother is so fat that she got brain damaged from cardiac arrest and now needs medical care for the rest of her life.

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the holocaust

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There are 10 fish, 5 of them drown, how many are left? 10, fish can't drown

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What's up? Your time.

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What's the difference between a lion and a stuffed lion? One is for children to play with, one will eat you alive.

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Why was the boy eating lunch by himself at school? Because his only friend was hit by a train.

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Up until today I thought eminem was the lead singer for maroon 5

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops