Why didn't the boy get what he wanted for christmas? His parents had killed him.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? My girlfriend is alive and 19 years older.

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What did the blackman say to the whiteman???? Nothing! They both commintted suicide

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Trees are my friends because they welcome me with open limbs.

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Jimmy has nine bags of sugar. He eats nine bags of sugar. What doeshe have now? Diabetes

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What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? the NBA

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A man had sex with his secretary. She was his wife.

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What do you call a black man that cuts people up and takes their money? A surgeon.

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If somebody chucks skittles at you saying taste the frickin rainbow Run over them with a car and say "NationWide is on your side!!! ????

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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I was in the 74th hunger games I hid in the cornucopia until almost everyone was dead. Then I saw Katniss and Peeta so while they were distracted with night lock I pulled a rubber chicken out of my ass and beat the shit out of them till they died then I won the 75th hunger game also. They asked me to be there mocking jay but I killed them all and blew the plane up in the Capitol the end. By Adam Chebali

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What's green and has wheels? A frog in a wheelchair

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Your dick is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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lets go to the beach beach lets go get away story of josh browns life

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Make it? Sodium levels? Means he is eating right? Its not ADHD, the chatter is his way of coping with pain and what I believe is PTSD (dont tell him, he would get mad, if he gets that blank stare while chatting a lot its like he is back in the past for a while, please distract him out of it, but dont tell him anything about that. Give him what he wants, its a secret but Nero masters hypnosis, and he pretty much knows himself to a point far beyond others know themselves, he can sense lies and knows how others are feeling just by the movement of their pupils, their eyes, their breath, the tonality of their voice and lots of things like that, I think thats some sort of hypnosis as well, he uses ritalin in order to focus and shut off pain receptors mentally and stuff I don't understand, I am sure he would not ask for it unless he knew he could take it, he has literally performed surgery on himself before, the kind that would kill anyone unless under strong anesthetics. (removed bullets from the back of his skull, people say its just a myth, but I was there so I know its true) Please trust me on this as weird as it might sound.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb boy get for Christmas? Cancer

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David shut the fuck up your cat has asthma and i dropped a weight on its little fucking head that pikey should of drowned it furthermore your sister looks like a greasy alien

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HAHA i just read a joke!!! and i liked it! :D to bad you dont know what page it was on... wanna know?... YOUR..... #1 LALALA

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What did little jonny do when he broke his leg? He proceeded to brake into tears due to the excruciating pain caused by his unfortunate injury.

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What did the munchy alzhemiers farmer say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators?

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a white man, a black man, a chinese man and a mexican man stand at the edge of a roof. the chinese man stands at the edge and says "this is for ma people" and jumps off. then the mexican stands at the edge of the roof and says "this is for my people" and jumps off. finally, the black man stands at the edge of the roof and shouts "this is for my people!" and throws the white man off. The End XD

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Why did the man cry when he was surrounded by black men? He got a call saying his mother had just died.

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What do you call a black man and an Asian at a school? Two hard-working, dedicated teachers.

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How many feet are in a yard? It depends how many people are in the yard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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