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why did the chicken cross the road? to commit suicide.

a man walks into a bar and a horsefly eats him

who would win in a gang battle? WEST COAST SWAG

Why didn't the boy come out of the closet? He had no legs.

Senior Sergeant Thomas the officer investigating your current rape and insect charges. Please open the door now.

What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

Two turtles are in a bathtub. One turtle says to the other turtle "Hey, can you pass the soap". The other turtle says "what do you think I am, a toaster?"

yo mama so ugly she made a happy meal frown.

What do you call a black person born in America? American.

How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? (written in 1600 BCE - Westcar Papyrus) -You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish

Whats long, hard, and filled with seaman... a mans penis

If life throws you cars, you are probably on LSD.

Why can't antelopes fly? Because they can't

Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

anti jokes r not funny, jk, thats a joke, i bet sum of u losers will like this cuz all of these jokes r horrible

An invisible man sleeping in your bed! Who ya gunna call? Most likely the local police department to report the strange incident possibly brought on by lack of sleep. NOT Bill Murray.

What peels, is a fruit, yellow and tastes like a bannana? A bannana.

You are as dumb as a dumb looking person.

Why is Michael Jackson bad at the piano? Because he is dead.

What's worse then a blind driver? A girl driver

Tom: God! Matt:Where? Tom:Matt i was saying God ! Jesus! Matt: God and Jesus! wow! Tom: why am i talking to you? Matt: Wanna play a game? Tom:bye.

Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family attempted to cross the road approximately 30 seconds earlier and were immediately struck by a moving vehicle traveling at 45 miles per hour. He crossed the road to try to comfort his family while they took their final breathes of life. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a man that had recently been laid off from his union job and came down with a disease that is considered uncurable by modern science.

Why was the turkey killed? Because this particular turkey lived on a farm and a supermarket was paying the farmer a reasonable price to sell it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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