A man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to get severe concussion, goes to hospital and dies three days later after suffering multiple brain haemorrhages.

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Q: What did the poor man do when he saw a Ferrari? A: He realized that he would really enjoy having the money to buy such a nice vehicle, so he decided to take it upon himself to enroll in night classes. After many years of hard work, he earned a degree and a high-paying position at a large software corporation, and bought his dream car. He often told the story to his children as an example of what hard work and a goal in mind could achieve you. He lived a long, productive life and died fulfilled.

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are trapped on a desert island. As they investigate the island to find food and shelter they find a magic lamp. Together they rub the lamp and sure enough a genie appears and tells them he will grant each of them a single wish. The brunette goes first and wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house, where her husband and children are waiting for her. She is happy that her ordeal is behind her and to see her loved ones. The redhead goes next and also wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house. She is not married and has no kids, but she has 2 cats. She is happy to be through her ordeal and to see her beloved pets. The blonde went last and also wished to be sent home. The genie clapped his hands and she appeared back in her house. She wasn't married, and had no kids or pets, but she was still happy that her ordeal was over.

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Why did the black man go to the store? To get milk and eggs because he was running out of those items

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

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-Why didn't a girl cry after she fell down with her bike? -Because a handlebar pinned her lung.

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what do get when you throw a penny in between a jew and a mexican? nothing besides one less penny

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "It sure is hot in here." The other muffin says "Holy shit a talking muffin

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what's red and horny a red unicorn

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What eats grass and goes MMMMOOOOOOO? A weird person that likes to eat grass and MMMMOOOOOOO

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What happen to the girl that did the splits. Her legs broke.

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sweating like antoni with a girl

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German bedtime story: There once was a boy who liked to suck his thumbs. His mother told him to stop, but he wouldn't. So she cut of his thumbs. Now he has none. Goodnight.

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2001, 2 airplains fly into the world trait centers. the pilots then had their licences taken away.

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ask me if im a fence are you a fence WALNUTS!

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whant to hear my best inpression of a hijacking ok kjgnkdgsjikdfhjnknkdfngknhfkfbnkf

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one bright morning in the middle of the night two dead boys got up to fight back to back they faced each other drew thier swords and shot each other a deff policeman heard this noise came and shot the two dead boys if you dont believe this lie is true ask the blind man he saw it too

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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It's gone. It's all gone. There's nothing left.

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I put the STD in stud now all i need is U

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? She's dead.

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whats fat round and bouncing off the ground= George goodburn

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There are two fish in a tank. They both die, tanks are used for warfare.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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