Suzy:I love you like a fat man love cake. Dave:(proceeds to say nothing as he is fat and is buzzy eating cake)

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? Bricks

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stuarts mum

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Knock Knock Who's there? Immigration. You're headed back to mexico.

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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What did the man say when he saw an orange? That's not a banana.

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Q: What do you get when you put a boy and a girl together in a locked room? A: Blood and gore.

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You will NEVER guess what just happened!

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A Pakistani news reader.

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Why did the Teacher cry? Because he was sad.

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A gay man named pat played on a gay website with a child named Charlie

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Whats worse than burning your foot? Getting it eaten off by a cannibal.

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Why couldn't the convicted felonist get back to America? He was in Antarctica and accidentally licked a flagpole.

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Q: On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet? A: Apple

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Q: whats worse than ten babies in one trash can A: one baby in ten trash cans

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Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman.

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What's funnier than a jalapeño? A jalapeño on a stick.

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If it bothers you? I am just saying that, fucking alright ill be slightly less cruel, I mean come on! It does not matter shit what others think! If someone ever tries to assault you because you are associated with me (yeah it happens), I will stand in front of you and KILL (and possibly rape) THEM!

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What the the newly born male dog get for his first birthday? A loss of two testicles.

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how do u make an infant cry? hit it in the face with a full grown salmon.

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Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "It sure is hot in here." The other muffin says "Holy shit a talking muffin

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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Q: What did the poor man do when he saw a Ferrari? A: He realized that he would really enjoy having the money to buy such a nice vehicle, so he decided to take it upon himself to enroll in night classes. After many years of hard work, he earned a degree and a high-paying position at a large software corporation, and bought his dream car. He often told the story to his children as an example of what hard work and a goal in mind could achieve you. He lived a long, productive life and died fulfilled.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops