A man walks into a bar and sees a woman starring at him, she seems attractive... he walks up to her and realizes that sheis quite mediocre if not even ugly. He proceeds to say "You'll do"

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What did your mom say after she went sky diving? Nothing, her parachute didn't open

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What do an elephant and a plum have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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What is worse than a case of the flu? Finding a dead camel on the highway with a half eaten lollipop in its mouth.

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Roses are red violets are blue this is an anti joke so like this

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what did the dog say to the muppet? WOOF

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what is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? dead babies dont stick to the roof of your mouth when you are eating them.

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What did the Jew say right before a boy threw a quarter in a fountain? Make a wish.

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What is the biggest killer in America? Death.

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how do you get a blonde one-handed woman out a tree? wave

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How do you get a one handed man out of a tree Wave

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Q: What do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

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A man gets pushed in to a pole...

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Q:Why did sarah fall off the swing? A:She had no arms. 1:Knock knock 2:who's there? 1:not sarah

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What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets Wet.

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whats black, dirty, and full of trash? A trash can

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Chuck Norris screams in pain.

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Q:Baby, baby, baby, oooh A:Thats what she said.

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A Jew, a Muslim and a Christian walk into a bar. The Muslim is dissatisfied with the choice of the meeting place since the Islam forbids drinking alcoholic beverages.

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What's more easier to break than a thin stick? A woman's neck.

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So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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GONNA

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Wanna hear a joke? Woman's rights.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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