Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the 3 legged dog fall over? Because it was knocked over by a passing pedestrian.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The body system was looking for a leader!? Heart - I am because I circulate the blood Brain - I should be because I control the body Liver - I should because I feed Anus - No, I am All laugh The anus held closed for seven days. The liver exploded the brain stewed and the heart stopped beating. Anus - Now, what am I?!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A white man, a black man, and a mexican are stranded on an island. They all died.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A lion walks in to a bar, and murders everyone inside. This is why animals are not aloud in bars.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Bitch! Love, J.B.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

YOU'VE WON A FREE IPAD!!!!! PRESS CTRL+W TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

hello juliano and guss. having fun?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Where's Waldo? The cemetery, he died last week.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do potatoes wear to bed? Potatoes don't sleep and don't wear clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

In Pokemon, why are bug types super effective against dark types? Because Ebola affected a lot in Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup! That's not a fly, it's a gnat.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the owner of Google decide to name the company "Google"? google it..

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Have you ever been to Uranus? Well I heard it's nice this time of year.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's green and has wheels? A frog in a wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Where can you find a cat with no arms and no legs? A: Right where you left him Q: Where can you find a dog with no arms and no legs? A: In a bun

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between Rob Schnieder and Jelly Beans? Someone besides Adam Sandler likes Jelly Beans.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the man do after he got in his car with out his keys? He started it up and drove Away

thumb_up thumb_down +2

People Eating Tasty Animals

thumb_up thumb_down +2

this is just a tribute to the greatest anti-joke ever told as I can't quite remember how it went, but you gotta beleive me, you just had to be there, it's a matter of opinion.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the horrors of factory farming.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops