What did the orphan get for his birthday? Shit on.

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Q. How many puns does it take to make a cup of tea? A. None. A pun is a grammatical construct and as such is incapable of combining the ingredients necessary to generate a hot drink which has been popular for hundreds of years.

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You know your in deep shit when you hit somebody in the head with a 2 by 4 and they dont go down.

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your mom is so ugly when she entered an ugly contest they said... ok

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Win industrial estate, Newry

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Kevin: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Bob: Because it's extinct? Kevin: No you idiot! The P is silent! Pterodactyl: RAARRGHH! (eats Bob)

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A man walks into a bar. He says "ouch".

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Q. What is worse than being raped A. Being raped twice

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-What did the policeman say to the boy? -Hello.

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Wood is brown...... Grass is green...... Now what color are roses?

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. Why? A. To get to the other side. A. Knock, Knock. B. Who's there? A. The chicken.

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Eating a bagel, the man was overcome with disappointment, he thought that he had purchased a donut. He later hung himself.

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Yesterday I was walking my dog and while I was walking my dog, guess what happened? It got hit by a bus.

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A blond is walking down the street when she is suddenly mugged and raped. She reports her attacker but he is never found.

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Why did Susan fall off the swing? -Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan.

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A guy walks into a bar and says ouch.

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Why don't you throw a rock at a Mexican on a bike? Because depending on the size of the rock, you could seriously injure him.

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hi joshua

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People say that shit don't stink But shit does stink It stinks like shit!

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my wife came out of the kitchen....

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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what is the world worst joke? this one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops