Why did the man cross the road? He was hungry and homeless, and in search of chicken.

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a drink, and nothing interesting happens.

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What's the worlds most popular burger? The Krabby Patty

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When I was just a little kid, my daddy lest the house and we all joined him to wherever he wanted to live.

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How do I want to die? From Chuck Norris killing me, that would be an honor.

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Q. What do black people, Asians, and Irishmen call their moms? A. "Mom"

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Why did the plane crash. its pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at the piano? Because he is dead.

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Yo mama's so gay, she's a guy.

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So there was once this cool little dude that had a purple nose. People would walk by on the streets and say, "Hey! That's a cool nose!" Purple nose man appreciated that they didn't pretend it wasn't there, and instead celebrated the diversity. The next day, he was scalped.

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What did the horse with herpes say to Paul? Ney

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a doctor came into the room after receiving a woman's test results for lung cancer. the woman says, "is it negative or positive doctor?" the doctor looks at the woman and says, "it's negative, congratulations."

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Asshole huh? Dont give me any ideas. Again you are not high on weed are you? Then that's really bad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?!?

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas?... A warm meal, a shower, and a place to sleep courtesy of the local homeless unit.

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What did the racist black man say to the white man? Nothing they both died in a car accident.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face"? The horse does not respond, because it is a horse and lacks any cognitive ability to speak or understand English. Instead, it becomes confused by its surroundings, takes a dump on the floor, and gallops out of the bar knocking a few tables over in the process.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are....

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.sdrawkcab siht gnidaer era ouy ,siht daer nac ouy fI

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whats sad about 4 black people in a cadalic fallign over a cliff? it wasnt there car

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"MR PLATT!!!!!!" "Yeah?" "Telephone for you sir." "Oh, cheers Tony."

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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