1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens don't have the cognitive capacity to reason. So you'd never know

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in hell.

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your brother so fine that hes skinney

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So yesterday I went to find a pair of camo pants, And I did

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and deaf, so it wold be near impossible for her to do so without seriously injuring herself or another human being.

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why did the mexican choose to work as a landscaper instead of at taco bell? landscaping pays much better and was a more practical decision in this economy to support his family of 13.

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My favorite word starts with F and ends with U-C-K! My favorite word is FIRETRUCK! What'd you think I'd say? My favorite thing starts with P and ends with O-R-N! My favorite thing is POPCORN! What'd you think I'd say?

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24

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A man walked into this bar, and said ouch.

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What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? They were both once alive and innocent, I lied about the black guy.

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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Why couldn't Bruce drive a truck? Cause Bruce was a Fish.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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- What do you call a black pirate? + A Nig-ARRRRRRRRRR - No, a pirate you fucking racist

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What's more traumatising than watching your dad raping a man? Watching a man raping your dad.

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How do five Jews get to America? They get their passports and ride a public plane, safely leaving the airport and getting on a taxi to go to their hotel.

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How do you drown a blonde. Put a Scratch N Sniff at the bottom of a pool and tell her to sniff it.

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What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.

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Please? No.

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a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. the cat is then escorted out of the bar because a cat in a bar is unsanitary. and they do not serve milk.

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Hey could I ask you a question? Yes Thanks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops