How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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Ask me if I'm a duck. Are you a duck? No.

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OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

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Person 1: What's 2+2? Person 2: 4 Person 1: Oh, you already heard that one.

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What do you call a black man and a white woman who are married? A married couple

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when riding on a roller coaster.

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How many dead children can you fit in a garbage can? Give me a knife and i will find out

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Did you hear the one about the Gay Irish Politician who was running for President?! He withdrew his candidacy.

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Why was the baby smoking? He was locked in a hot car.

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What has 4 legs and goes "meow." A cat. Dang! You already heard it.

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

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Why can't blondes change a lightbulb? Because they're women

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The sun was burning as the Elephant offered the mouse to walk between the sun and the mouse so the mouse could get some shade. Mouse: Lets switch places so you can have some shade too! Elephant: Good idea! Just then unexpectedly the elephant slipped on a banana peel and tilted towards the mouse. Squish. Moral: The reason they never tell kids the full story... for real.. honest...

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So there are two elephants in a bathtub. Elephant 1: "yo can you pass the shampoo" Elephant 2: "radio!"

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Two white people walk into a bar what do they say? "hi"

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if a bra is called a over the shoulder boulder holder what is male underware called sincerly, under the butt nut hut

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Why did the U.S.A. vote in a black president? Because racial prejudice is a thing of the past and the U.S.A. is a liberal and progressive nation.

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A horse walks into a bar. The owner immediately seeks out the owner of the misplaced obstruction and asks them to remove it promptly less his animal suffers any more untoward damage

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Knock knock? Whos there? the Chicken.

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Every 20 seconds, a child in africa starves to death... Every 30 seconds, an obese american teen stuffs their face with McDonalds

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how do you kill a bear. -you shoot it.

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Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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A 55-year-old white man's car is broken, so he decides to take a bus to work that morning. His bus arrives and he gets on. Then he notices the driver's a woman. He pays for his ticket, takes a seat by the window and in about an hour he gets to his office.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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