What do you call a middle ages man driving a van filled with children? Coach.

what do you get when you cross a red snugulo and a blue glurga? your on acid

What's sad about a dead person? He was my friend.

What does an otter and a pencil sharpener have in common? They both feature in this joke

Punching a baby

What's 2+2? Gonorrhoea

Why did the chickens leave McDonalds? Because they refused to have their nuggets deep fried (Wyndellberg)

Q: Whats black and white and red all over? A: I am unsure for I am color blind.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

What did the boy say when he got hit by a car? Nothing, he punctured his lungs.

How do you stop your baby crawling in circles? Pick it up and smother it.

what did the boy with no arms get for christmas? A pair of robtic arms and now he has super stregth so he fuk up any body who said he would get cancer.

I have two friends, Jeffrey and Barbara. You might think that Jeffrey likes sports and beer, and that Barbara likes knitting and cooking. But you'd be wrong, Barbara is dead.

Why did the chick cross the road? To get to the brothel for hot lesbian love.

why did the little boy die? He had AIDS

Why did the blond paint in the nude? because she couldn't find her clothes, and wanted to express her emotions through art

Why was Harry arrested? Because he stabbed multiple children.

Why does the deer cross the road? It had just birthed two deer, one of which was hungry, and food was on the other side, the other had been hit by 4x4 Hemi V8 Supercharged F1-50.

A jew, a catholic and a muslim walk into a bar. The catholic man dies of a massive heart attack and the other two men mourn their friend for weeks.

Why was Hellen Keller afraid to answer the phone? This situation is impossible because Hellen suffered from scarlet fever, therefore she could not see or hear the phone.

a red boat and a blue boat collided all the survivors still have nightmares to this day

Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

why couldn't randy turn on his computer? randy is blind and had mistaken his refrigerator for his computer.

Roses are, blue, Violets are red, Screw poetic forms, I wish you were dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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