The man was so gay he grew breasts and got breast cancer.

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How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

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What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

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Robert had 30 cheeseburgers and he ate 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes.

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Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says wow its hot in here the other muffin said HOLY SHIT ITS A TALKING MUFFIN

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What is Debbie short for? She has no legs.

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why couldnt james zatts swim? he was half black

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What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? I don't know. I cant think f anything big and white that fall from trees that can kill you and besides if it is big enough to kill you then you will likely see it and avoid the section of that tree lest the big white object should fall and kill you because of this it is likely that anything that is big and white and falls from trees will in result kill you.

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woman..parallel parking

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Josh Moran sticks polish sausage up his ear and moves it back and forth while squeezing his balls until they rupture.

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Why did the baby cross the road? 'cause i kicked it.

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A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

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so i was F***in this guy the other day with my penis.....shit! i mean i was F***in this girl and i jizzed

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honest politician

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why did the girl scream when she got her tooth pulled? Because it hurt her.

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If you like piña coladas! You might be an alcoholic

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What should you give your Italian plumber for a refreshment? Water, because he's probably working so hard that he's thirsty.

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"why did the cheese not go to church on sunday" "because it was jewish"

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Roses are roses Violets are violets Sugar is sugar And you're a person

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What do you call a paralyzed man on a fishing boat? Robert

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Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a tire swing? A: I don't have a tire swing hanging in my backyard.

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Why don't people say YOLO anymore? They all died in car crashes while texting and driving.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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