What did the mute boy get for his birthday? i dont know he didnt tell me

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What did the sheep say to the Commonwealth Committee on September 11 2001? Baabaaabaaaahhh

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A man walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

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What is brown and woody? Brown wood.

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What was so sad about the white woman who dropped her Starbucks? It fell on her baby in a nearby stroller giving it third degree burns, disfiguring its face.

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What do you get when you hit a deer? A dead deer, which you should probably take home to eat - wouldn't want it to go to waste.

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Seargent: Quick seal off all the exits so he cant get away. Private: OK 2 minutes later Private: He escaped sir Seargent: What, how Private: through one of the entrances

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Whats worse than having aids...... Being in school

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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how many licks does it take to get too the tootsie center of a tootsie pop. Well it depends on how you eat it, there is always the option of biting it, so there is no defined answer, as well as ones lick might absorb more of the lollipop then another mans.

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What did the man say to the man with no head? You have no head

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What did Jesus say as he walked on water and people went like WOHOO! OMG WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO CHISEL THIS INTO JEWTUBE SO EVERYONE CAN SEE! "BEHOLD AS I WALK UPON THIS WATER WHILE ALL OF YOU HAVE FAILED BEFORE ME! ONLY I CAN WALK OF THIS WATER OF FROZEN WITHOUT SLIPPING! Nero: Because go fuck yourself asshole. Lol... Jewtube was not as widely available as youtube so yeah... Walking on ice without falling over was a big thing back then... You know such as OMG! EATING BREAD AND DRINKING WINE! WOOOOOOAAAAH SCIENCE! AND BURNING BUSHES SPOKE AND... Moral: "Ill be back, you know, just to annoy you, and because I want to, a real man needs no other reason, and that is why you fuckers need so many of them"

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Knock Knock. - Whose there? ... ... ... ... Damn kids.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm wearing pants and I'm hungry

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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DON"T READ THIS!

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Q: how do u wake lady gaga up? A: you poke-poke poke her face.

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what tall and looks like a jew?

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Why was the boy hanging from the ceiling? He was sad

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Why did the boy with cancer cross the road? He was hoping to get hit by a truck.

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how come bob felt 'under pressure'? because somebody dropped a dumpster on him

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What ended my last relationship? Oncoming traffic.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Peas are green Plums are purple Thieves are black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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