question: do zombies eat brains answer: actually zombies don't exist, so they don't eat anything

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Why did the black man go to church? Because his father died.

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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Q: What did the lesbian say to her partner? A: We cannot get married in forty five states.

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What did the toilet say when I pooped in it Nothing I just crapped in it

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Why did the blonde fall down the stairs? Somebody tripped her.

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Yo mama so fat, that she feels uncomfortable in a bathing suit.

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jesus can walk on water but chuck norris can swim through land

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Q: How do u make a butcher cry A: Kill its family

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The world ends and everyone dies exept for a laywer

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A man walks into a bar. The second man sees the first man's mistake and ducks. The third man needs to take no precautions as he is a midget and can simply walk under the bar.

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Q: On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet? A: Apple

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Get on your knees Ho

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The other day a man came to my door. After I opened it, he told me, "I'm sorry, your mother is dead." He paused, then said, "Just kidding." "Actually," I told him, "my mom died two years ago of natural causes." He turned around and left, and I closed the door. All in all, it was a very confusing situation, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

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david weres the slug gone

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Oh, hi Dave, come inside.

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Q:How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? A:Depends on the volume of said tub.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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roses are black violets are black im blind

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights

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Whats not funny and no one wants to waste the time to reading it? This joke

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What did david give back? Nothing.

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Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

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shut up elliot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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