What did the customer say to the waitier? "I think I'll have the special."

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An Arab walks into a bar. He doesn't explode, and has a fun time with his friends.

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What you do you call a gay man with no arms and legs? His name.

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If a guy has a sex change what is the first thing he would say? Boobies!

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What's the difference between getting hit by a car and being struck by lightning? Impossible to tell, they are 2 entirely different circumstances with limited certainties.

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Why was the boy depressed? A. because his whole family was slaughtered on the kitchen floor.

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Going out for a quiet one, having a drink or two, and returning home.

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"Why Do Dogs Bark ? " Because Thats What Their Suppose To Do !

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It's valentines today! My girlfriend died.

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Why was the kid mad? Because he died.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Its 2 in the morning Go the f+%& to sleep.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because six is a numerophobe.

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Why did the black homosexual blind man want to go to the comedy club? He enjoys a good laugh

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I have a friend named David. He then lost his ID, now we called him Dav

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What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

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What's worser than dieing? Living-being tortured while at it too

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Tyler Bishop is a waffle

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What did the guy at the office order on his pizza. Pepperoni :)

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, his mouth was full of it's intestines.

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Why did 9/11 take place? Because God hates Satan

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Whats black white and red all over? A decapitated panda.

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your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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Why did the man smoke pot in the roller coaster? Because he was dyslexic and read the sign wrong and thought it read "You must be high to go on this ride."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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