What's harder than winning an argument with a woman. Lonsdaleite which has recently been declared the hardest substance known to man, and can withstand 58% more stress than the hardest diamond crystal.

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What did Santa Clause say to Rudolf? Nothing. Santa's not real.

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A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

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Your mamas so old she died of old age, R.I.P.

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Q: What do you call justin bieber? A: gay

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What's the same between a mole and an eagle? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

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Sometimes I stare at a Frisbee and wonder why it is getting bigger. Then, it hits me.

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what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

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John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

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- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

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Where did Jonathan go when the bombs hit? Everywhere.

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A man crashed his boat and is lost in the ocean. He comes across a cruise ship, and they ask if he wants help. The man says, "No. God will save me, but thanks anyway." Later on that night, he is eaten by a shark.

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there once was a man from Nantucket. He was a fisherman.

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What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

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Q. What's the difference between a Mcdonalds employee and a gynecologist? A. They have different jobs.

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to get to the other side.

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Row, row, row your... Canoe.

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How do you upset an Mexican? Kill his entire family.

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what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

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Your momma is so stupid, because she didn't get a proper education

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OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

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What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

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As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

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What is intangible and has every color on the rainbow? A rainbow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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