A man crashed his boat and is lost in the ocean. He comes across a cruise ship, and they ask if he wants help. The man says, "No. God will save me, but thanks anyway." Later on that night, he is eaten by a shark.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

thumb_up thumb_down +30

- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

thumb_up thumb_down +30

John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Row, row, row your... Canoe.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a dog with no wings? A dog

thumb_up thumb_down +28

roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A have a black guy in my family tree. He married my cousin a few years back

thumb_up thumb_down +28

OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is intangible and has every color on the rainbow? A rainbow.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Your momma is so stupid, because she didn't get a proper education

thumb_up thumb_down +28

As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is the difference between a rabbit and a plum? A: They are both purple, except for the rabbit!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A Jehovah's Witness knocks on my door. I didn't answer the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's brown, sticky and crawls up your leg? A homesick poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a gay man? Homosexual

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why can't helen keller drive? She never got her permit

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Doctor Doctor i've got wind can you give me something? Thats not wind the doctor replies thats a rare form of stomach cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the blonde go to business school? She wanted to get into business, and decided that a business degree was a good place to begin.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man is at a party. He gets hungry so he waits in the foodline and then he gets some food. Then he has to go to the bathroom so he waits in the bathroomline and goes to the bathroom. Then he is thirsty so he goes to get some punch and realizes that there is no punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops