What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is something I love to eat, the other is a watermelon.

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Yo momma is so fat, that after boarding an airplane the flight crew respectfully asked her to deboard, as with her on board the plane would be exceeding the reccomended weight, and thus be unable to fly safely.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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Why did Sally's Ice Cream melt? Sally was on Fire

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she was dead.

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Agent 47.

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What is the difference between me and you? I am not readin this joke.

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What did the old man catch at a baseball game? Aids.

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why did the girl go into the kitcen? she was preparing a meal for her well safisticated family which had not ate dinner yet that day.

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i like my babies how i like my potatoes..... skinned

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What was the cancer patients last wish? For the pain to go away...Yolo...-Avery Scott Vartanian

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

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A man walks up to another man and asks what time it is. He then replies " It's 2:00" The man then pulls out a sandwich and eats it

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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what has four wheels and opens using a key? -a trunk on wheels

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If Johnny can hold 7 bottles of Vodka in one hand and 6 cans of beer in the other, what does Johnny have? A drinking problem.

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A man had come into a bar. No wait, it was a horse. A man had come into a horse.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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why is dog animal? it is not fish! 18 fits of has hair only have is Buddhist

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Why did the doctor commit suicide? His wife was recently killed in a car accident and simply could not take the emotional pain!

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Q. What did the black lawyer say to the rabbi? A. We're both highly educated professionals.

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Knock knock Knock knock Knock knock I have outsimers Wait why am i here?

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' Thats fantastic for Peter Piper

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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