What do you call a monkey holding a hand grenade? It depends on what its name is.

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why did the monkey fall dead out of the tree? because edward cullen raped it up the arse sooo many times it died from internal bleeding.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

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What is life? It is a sexually transmitted disease which always ends in death. There is currently no known cure.

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What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

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Once upon a time there was a small poor boy in a small German village. Her was name Smalls. Later he found out that he had to go back to Virginia because of their family then she got milk and went to the play that night like he was planning, and it was probably a problem with the clutch or transmission. It was fine because Smalls was 64 years old.

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What's blue and smells like red paint. ............blue paint.

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What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

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"Did you fall from heaven?...Cause your face is really messed up."

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Q: What is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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What did the old man catch at a baseball game? Aids.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It escaped the zoo.

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In Soviet Russia, Stalin kills you

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Two farmers are sitting in a cold field. One asks, "Cold day, isn't it?" The other farmer doesn't respond as he has been frozen to death and because of his death, he is unable to respond.

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Why did the man dig his nose? because everyone digs their nose

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Whats worst then finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaus.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Woof.

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Why was Mrs. Clause mad at Santa Clause? Because he was hanging out with three hoes, Ho, Ho, and Ho

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whats one plus one penis

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(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness. Oh come on in, I would love to learn more about your religion.

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I remember my grandfather's last words he said to me before he kicked the bucket...."Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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What was unprecedented about Roosevelt running for president in 1940? He had polio, he couldn't run!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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