A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. The squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because it is a squirrel and squirrels can't talk. The owl turns to the squirrel and eats it, because it is a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: What's purple and flies? A: Super Grape

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I read my Uncle an anti-joke. He is still wondering why it made no sense to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the dog say to the cat Nothing dogs cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down +24

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the only thing more horrible than trash can full of dead babies? A live one at the bottom. What's more horrible than that? He has to eat his way out. What's more horrible than that? He goes back for more. What's more horrible than that? This all took place in my garage while I was watching.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the brown guy say to the black person when he got fired? Nothing, did you think this was going to be racist or something?!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you do when a hispanic man takes your wallet? Ask him to please give the wallet back to you

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Hey, Batman Yeah? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What's pink and fuzzy? A: Pink Fuzz...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

This is a haiku. Not a very good haiku, But still a haiku.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you get when you cross 3 men and a chainsaw? Answer: 2 and a half men

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you tell if a girl is pregant? Stick a banana up her vagina pull it out and see if it has a bite on it

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what do a heater and a dead baby have in common? a dead baby is only warm for a small period of time

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call 25 college teens at a party? A good time.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats more painful than falling onto a sharp stone? Suffering the loss of your mother and newborn brother in a tragic car accident on your birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What do Magic Johnson and Freddie Mercury have in common? A: Freddie Mercury is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's pink and when you press a button it turns red? A baby in a blender. What's pink and when you hit it against the wall sounds metallic? A baby with two forks stuck in its eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what has genitial warts? me

thumb_up thumb_down +22

i'll leave 'em dead in the living room. get it leave 'em dead in the living room

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call an asian woman with one leg? By her name.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call four friends spending a wild night in Las Vegas that they can't rember the next day? A rip off of the Hangover

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops