How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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What starts with an N and ends with R, that you wouldn't want to call a black person? Neighbor

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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What's the difference between a baby and hot dog? I don't put ketchup on my hot dog when I eat it.

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Your family is so fat that when their feet hit the ground, it recorded 9 on the richter scale, because they were launched at the Earth at close to the speed of light, and when you account for relativistic mass effects, the amount of energy that was displaced into the ground was tremendous

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mmm i love marble bumhole

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I have five fingers, When will you put the ring on the one NEXT to the middle one? Never?! F you.

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What do people and jelly beans have in common? Nothing. One is a living creature, and the other is a tasty treat.

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roses are red violets are blue i am bipolar so am i

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What did the Jewish man say to the Shia faction Muslim man? Even though we have different views on god and religion I value your friendship more than my religous views.

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Cleavlin has a shmaaala dik

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Whats slower than molasses? A dead baby.

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Why was the youtube like bar green? Because the graphics designer felt like making it green. =.=

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If a guy has a sex change what is the first thing he would say? Boobies!

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What do cookies and Ruber have in common? Ones edible one is not

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What is the greatest lie ever? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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A guy walks into a bar. NOT!

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If a black person gets a tan, what do you get? A burned black sausage.

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Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... whats worst than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

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a mother: my little boy always asks me to take him to see dinosaurs...but they are extinct. me: take him to a museum you dumb bitch!

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My arms get tired from carrying my big diick everywhere, well at least it's better than dragging it

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Why didn't the vampire go to the Garlic festival? Because it sucks.

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Why did the gorilla fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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