Q. What's the difference between a Mcdonalds employee and a gynecologist? A. They have different jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's worse than a spilled ice cream cone? 2 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 2 spilled ice cream cones? 3 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 3 spilled ice cream cones? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? 4 spilled ice cream cones.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Where's the best place to buy moon bars? Michael Toal

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you BUT The roses are wilting The violets are dead The sugar bowl's empty And so is your head

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Yesterday I was diagnosed with Depression... It made me sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

don't make holocaust jokes, my grandfather died in the holocaust, he fell out of the birds nest shooting Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

-Knock knock -Use the doorbell -Oh... ding dong -Who is it? -Me -Oh -Yeah -Cool -Come in -Okay -Take off your shoes -Alright -How are you? -Good -That's good -Yeah -Okay -K -Oh -Bye -See ya

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was standing next to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what is the difference between a indian and a trampoline? you take you shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you make a lumberjack cry? By murdering his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A Stick!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. The squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because it is a squirrel and squirrels can't talk. The owl turns to the squirrel and eats it, because it is a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: What's purple and flies? A: Super Grape

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why do vampire's from 'Twilight' sparkle? Because it's a really bad movie.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between a zit and a priest? These two things are so different that I couldn't list all of the differences in this text box.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I read my Uncle an anti-joke. He is still wondering why it made no sense to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the dog say to the cat Nothing dogs cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down +24

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops