A man walks into a bar and sees a woman starring at him, she seems attractive... he walks up to her and realizes that sheis quite mediocre if not even ugly. He proceeds to say "You'll do"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red violets are blue this is an anti joke so like this

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man said lol, I said lol back. Then he started to beat me up for repeating his phrase!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Cosmopolitan magazine releases an issue without any sex tips.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There is big difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse And helping your uncle jack off a horse

thumb_up thumb_down +2

9

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mama's so fat, that she died of diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the man do after he got in his car with out his keys? He started it up and drove Away

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a generally un likeable person who has a habit of drinking in a bar? A Bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a black man that cuts people up and takes their money? A surgeon.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between Rob Schnieder and Jelly Beans? Someone besides Adam Sandler likes Jelly Beans.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes to step on trampolines.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you call a mexican baptism? a bean dip

thumb_up thumb_down +2

adam sucks off disabled old men for a pac of biscuits

thumb_up thumb_down +2

One dark, stormy night, there was a man, limping slowly down the road. He looked across the road and noticed a little girl on a park bench. He carefully moved around behind , creeped up, and slowly tapped her on the shoulder. I tap 2 tap 3 tap The little girl slowly turned her head, and as she did, the man uttered 3 sentences.... "Would you mind helping me get back to my apartment, my hand was cut off in the war, while I was serving my country, which is why I have a hook as opposed to a hand. I was heading back to my apartment to greet my wife and 2 little children, since I just got back from a long day's work at the soup kitchen, helping those in need, and I sprained my ankle. By the way, my name I John Thompson."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I once met with Mahatma Gandhi and he said to me "Child, why do I walk this earth?.. What is the meaning of my living?.. Why am I alive?" and I bowed in respect of his wisdom and said "I don't know. Why do you?" and he said "I don't I'm dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? A wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's funnier than 24? My life.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If somebody chucks skittles at you saying taste the frickin rainbow Run over them with a car and say "NationWide is on your side!!! ????

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the blind, deaf and dumb boy get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +2

At home, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 10 mins, it's 3:30. At school, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 20 mins, it's 3:40 and schools been finished for ten minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops