Q: Why did the kid cross the playground? A: To get to the other slide

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A man walks into a bar. Now he needs stitches on his forehead because he was walking pretty fast

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Friend: What do you call a farting dog? Me: A canine releasing built up pressure as a result of excess carbon-based gases produced by the synthesizing and decompositional digestive reactions in the stomach and intestines. Friend: ... Who is a nerd, pointless, has no social life, and cant take a joke? Me: No one. No one but you is that exceptionally lacking in character.

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Whats worse than it raining on your birthday? 911

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yo mama has one big titty and one small titty and the call the bitch paul

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Whats a welfare? Its what keeps you alive.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping? Well you should be very concerned because he hasn't been found in 4 years.

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What did the elephant say to the whale? Nothing, neither can talk and they live in very different biomes.

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How can you tell if a man is choking? Stick a fridge down his throat

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What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It depends on the person. To generalize and select one sport to represent the entire race would be stereotyping.

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K

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Nope, but yeah Felix looks a lot like Mickey Mouse, I think, nah it was Oswald the Lucky rabbit I believe, and he used to get his ass kicked by... Damn, what`s the name of the fat cat that beat up Mickey in steamboat willie?

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Miss Hoolie: Hello, PC Plum. What's the story in Balamory? PC Plum: I'm arresting you for the sexual molestation of twenty children.

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i hate black people

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If I met your mom before you was born, you would still be born.

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what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

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why was the tolit stoped up. because it had phoo

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We are as to jokes as atheists are to religion.

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Three guys at the beach decided to bet on who could swim the farthest. The first guy, could not swim so he lost. The second guy got a cramp right away. The third one swam far away into the distance, and was not seen or heard on for days... Three weeks later his corpse was found floating by the shore. The other two died out of guilt.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dieing in a hole.

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Whats 89 x 67? Sponge. Whats 10 + 9? 19 Whats 9 + 10? 21!

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Roses are red Violets are actually purple You should probably see an eye doctor.

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Why did the jew give all his money away to charity? -No I'm kidding, he didn't.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Reclu. Reclu who? Recluse Spider.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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