What do you say to a black guy who is holding a gun to your head? Nothing. He is holding a gun to your head.

theres this guy that i REALLY like but today he was putting something in my locker, it was gumbie the little green bendy thing but i didnt want it to be in my locker so i slammed my locker, except the only thing was that his pinky was in the way!!!! oh gosh i felt soooooo bad!!!! turns out he went to the hostpital and got stitches!!!!!!! that made it worse on me!!!!!! he said he was finee but i still cant let that go!!!!!

Fun Fact: If humans stood in a single file line around the equator, most of them would drown.

who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

what does a baby with no lims get for christmas...cancer

I wont be arriving soon alright, I mean I am a overachiever for many reasons many of them not exactly "gifts" (such as the pain I cant shut up about but focus on other things such as my goal surely keeps my mind occupied enough). Thanks about the looks comment, used to think I was pretty good looking myself, so if I am more than the looks, then I really like that one (I know I am being a bit brash, but I haven't felt this... Better in a long time, and if hell if I will fake low self confidence, modesty is not my thing when I am not in the mood to be charming) By the way, Alice is quoting me, and having a laugh doing so apparently, lets just say I wont be typing myself ever again, my fingers are not... Useful, and honestly typing with one hand was always a bitch. Enough about me, ill have one of "my shadows" send you money for a first class (seriously you have spent enough on me, and now that my city is making a revenue and still advancing, its my turn to return whatever I can) Tell your parents you won the lottery and share some of the money with them I am sending you a bit extra so to speak. And ffs do not worry about my body, not even sure if I will walk again and speaking, well while it hurts (Alice is laughing again) people here concluded I would live for faaar longer than their first prognosis since I never been a fan of shutting up, and as I told them, my mouth will keep yapping about 200 years after I die, so no problemo. Ill send you a first class to... Nvm you take the money, and come around whenev... You know what? Ill send a plane, yeah, because we can afford that, not yours to keep but you know...

Why did Alfa Kurtoo change his name? Just say Alfa Kurtoo fast!

There were three guy's caught trespassing on a farmers land. The farmer said he wont kill them if they did what they were told, he told everyone to pick one fruit. The 1st guy came to him with grapes. The farmer told him to shove it up his butt so he did, the 2nd guy came to the farmer with orange, the farmer told him to shove them up his butt but the guy kept laughing, the farmer got angry and snapped whats so funny? My buddy over over there is picking watermelons.

i wonder when lachlan will come out of the closet and give keiran a blowjob

There was a black and white spotted dog named Louis. Why did they call her that? Because, that's what they named her.

A black man and a mexican jump of a building to see who hits the ground first. Who wins? Society.

Why did Bob get off the swing? Because he was done.

Whats black and white and musty? A nuns pussy because it never gets used.

Lance Armstrong gets on a bike

why was the tolit stoped up. because it had phoo

Whats 1+1? The answer!

roses are red violets are blue wendy williams looks like a man roses are red violets are blue i coach penn state pull down your pants

What did the black man say to the white man? "I like your shirt" The black man walked off and lived out the rest of his days in peace.

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he was greeting his new neighbors that moved in across the street. He was very friendly.

ALCATRAZ IS REOPENED!

Why did Susan fall off the swing? -Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan.

why am I who i am, and you are who you are? dick spice

Knock Knock! Come in..

melons are berries, tomatoes are fruit, being a smart-ass isn't that good.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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