umm idk what joke to write down so yea and so rate this a thumbs up! okay bc this is an awesome joke...right right right yea ik!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Why couldn't the boy see? He was dead

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Why can't blondes change a lightbulb? Because they're women

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If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

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Limericks are fun, I have an orange Nothing rhymes with orange crap orange

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How was copper wire invented? Probably some scientist did that

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A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

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Always bring food to the zoo. It's not the animals who placed the signs not to feed them.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Yo Momma's so fat she has Type 1 Diabetes.

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Michael J. Fox asked me if I wanted my drink shaken or stirred, did I really have a choice?

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Your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you're just a figment of my imagination.\

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Why did the Mexican wait outside Home Depot all day? He was hoping to be hired as day-labor to provide for his family.

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Por que não passa Globo Esporte na Etiópia? Porque a Rede Globo não tem afiliadas por lá.

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Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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A child in Africa developed Malaria. He became very sick and died.

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Q: What comes after 8? A: 9

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What's the difference between shoes and a ginger? Shoes do the kicking.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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Q. Where do snowmen keep their money? A. A snowman is an anthropomorphic snow sculpture made of frozen water. They therefore cannot earn, keep or have any use for money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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