What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones because I have osteoporosis

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Why was the Jamaican man smoking pot? His doctor prescribed it. The man has a serious case of glaucoma.

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What do you call a girl with 1 eye and 3 arms... Chernobyl.

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Why was Little Billy sad? Because he got shot.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? The victim of a freak genetic mutation and extremely susceptible to predators, meaning it will live a short life in the wilderness.

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A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

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pauls tuck

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What do you call 10 Asians playing basketball? A group of friends hanging out and having a good time.

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A black van approaches a small boy. The boy gets in the van, and the van drives away.

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What do you call a person with no arms? Armless.

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My children are huge mistakes.

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A white female funded a strong relationship with an african american male. One year later the white female was driving to work and had to slam on the breaks to stop a potention crash.

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What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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Why did a Monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What did the red cat say to his owner? Nothing.

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*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

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Where did Sally go in the bombing? Everywhere

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Roses are red Violets are blue and oranges are orange nothing rhymes with orange

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Bus....

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what did the bug say when it got ran over by a car? NOTHING, bugs can't talk

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What did the Asian man say to the Mexican man? Nothing, due to the language barrier.

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A man crashed his boat and is lost in the ocean. He comes across a cruise ship, and they ask if he wants help. The man says, "No. God will save me, but thanks anyway." Later on that night, he is eaten by a shark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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