Roses are red Violets are blue, I am sorry... But you have terminal cancer and are probably going to die in about 3 months

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Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

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What would you do for a Klondike Bar? I would probably spend somewhere under 3 dollars at a store, but only if somebody else drives me. I really don't want to drive, not in this gas shortage. You know what...forget it, Klondike Bars make my teeth hurt due to my sensitive teeth problem. I know I should get that sensitive teeth tooth paste, but I always forget when at the store.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side (The original AntiJoke)

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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Where is one place everyone eventually goes to rest? A cemetery.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Wait...what?

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What did bob order at pizza hut? Pizza

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What do Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder have in common? They are both blind.

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yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

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How do you make a dead baby float? Ice cream, root beer, and a dead baby.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Except when I said muffins I meant Jews. .. I guess it really isn't that funny anymore.

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A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

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Why do vampire's from 'Twilight' sparkle? Because it's a really bad movie.

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Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

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Have you ever tasted Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Transgenders! More than meets the eye! Transgenders! Girl was once a guy! LGBTs wage the battle to destroy The homophobic forces of Christianity! Transgenders! Homos in disguise!

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How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

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Q: How do you stop a baby from crying? A: You hit it with brick.

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A guy walks into a bar. He then comes home at 4 a.m. to beat his wife.

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A boy bought a dozen roses, eleven real, one fake. He looks deeply into his girlfriends eyes, hers looking back, brimming with love and affection as he says, "I slept with your sister."

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Q: How do you get an elephant in a refrigerator in three easy steps? A: You open the refrigerator door, you put the elephant inside, you close the refrigerator door. Q": How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator in four easy steps? A": You open the refrigerator door, you take the elephant out, you put the giraffe inside, you close the refrigerator door.

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Why did the man not come out of the closet? He wanted to stay in narnia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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