Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar And doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having your entire family killed in a car accident

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side??? Yeah he's all right now!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

im jacob, i have as much hair on my penis as mr macs head.....none.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did Superman say when he forgot his cape? "Where's my cape?"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a kid with one arm and an eye-patch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the fat guy say after his weight-reduction surgery? I'm gonna sue the clown pants out of McDonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: If you are running a race and a fridge hits you, how many dogs play x-box in the snow? A: 12 orange waffles

thumb_up thumb_down +11

cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +11

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats the difference between a blonde and a sloth? Everything. The blonde is a human being and humans are way different than sloths.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? Ghosts aren't dolphins.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

so a man goes to jurrasic park and sees two dinosaurs fighting. he shits himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Holocaust jokes suck. Anne frankley, I won't stand for them

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How else can an Asian wear a contact lens? Too bad for them. They can;t sucks for them. Asians with small eyes EXCEPT FOR INDIANS look ugly

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Oh my God! A talking dog!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did mr smith say when a student asked for math help? ok

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you get if you cross a man and a horse? Severe internal bleeding.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what happens when a panther and a gorilla fight? i dont know i never seen it before.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

knock knock who's there? a dog ......dogs cant talk ..................

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock Come in Come in who? Come in...wait what?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What you you call peanut butter on the top of a dog house Peanut butter

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops