What did mr smith say when a student asked for math help? ok

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what happens when a panther and a gorilla fight? i dont know i never seen it before.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar... OW!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

knock knock who's there? a dog ......dogs cant talk ..................

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock Come in Come in who? Come in...wait what?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What you you call peanut butter on the top of a dog house Peanut butter

thumb_up thumb_down +11

if dragonflies have purple toe nails, then how many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? canada, because snakes don't have armpits!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between a gay and a homo?...........WTF I DON'T KNOW!?!?!?!?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A spanish comedian walked into a bar. He was on time for his act.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q. What do you call a guy who only drinks lite beer. A. His name.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a black man and a black woman having sex? A husband and wife who love each other very much and are trying to have a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a person rolling down a hill, in a burning car, with a pack of wolves running after him? DEAD!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A wooly mammoth and a dodo bird walk into a bar. Just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the man buy fruits at the store? Because they were available, on sale, and the man was hungry, so he wanted to eat fruit at that time, he then got into his car, but thought to himself first, "I should unlock my car so I can open the door," so he does so, and sits in the drivers seat eating his fruit, he drives off to his home, arrives safely, and greets his family as he enters the house, then they sit down, eat dinner, and go to sleep, the next day, the man goes to the store, and buys vegetables

thumb_up thumb_down +9

'A blonde', 'a brunette', and 'a redhead' are ways of referring to women who have hair of a certain color.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What do you call a girl who wears a tuxedo to prom? A: Comfortable with the way she looks.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

seven guys rob a bank, they share it in this ratio 2:2:2:4:2:5:2 who got the most money? you don't know

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the man lose his testicle? he had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats orange and sounds like a parrot? a carrot

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's better than winning the Paralympics? Having legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops