What did the terminally sick child dream of? I dont know. He never woke up to tell me.

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Q: Why did George Lopez walk into a Taco Bell? A: To purchase a 5-layer Gordita Burrito

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A white man on his way to happens to sit next to a black man the following conversation involves a democrat and a repuplican arguing about obama's current presidentcy and the wallstreet journal the two do not agree on both sujects and part ways...the white man is later brutally murdered in his own house infront of white and children in an unrelated incident. We should all help to stop violence in our local nieghborhoods.

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Q. What did the wierd kid get for christmas A. A Pokemon diamond edition

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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roses are red violets are too im bleeding

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What's green, fuzzy, and can kill you if it fell from a tree? A pool table.

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Thumbs up if you're reading this in 2015!

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Q: If it takes a chicken a day and a half to lay an egg and a half, then how long would it take a monkey to kick the seeds off of a dill pickle. A: I don't know. That's a stupid question.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is dead, and thereby lacks the necessary motor control.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? .....Neither have they.

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What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Women's rights.

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What is worse then finding an apple in your worm? Not a lot.

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A schizophrenic walks into a bar. He has dual personalities and does not realize that he has murdered his family.

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How did the drug addict die? He got shot in a drive-by.

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An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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anal seepage

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what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

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why did the man throw his clock out of he window? he was mentally insane.

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what do you call an arse bandit? lady gaga's tanning salon attendants 3rd cousins dog chauffeur, roberto

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Q: Why did the man cross the road? A: Cause he felt like it.

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Yo mammas so stupid she has a profound intellectual disability.

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Why did the girl ask for anal? She didn't. She was raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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