A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." and then the mushroom walks out.

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Q-how did the blind man cross the road? A-with a guide dog

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What do you call a scottish drunk? a taxi

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Q: How do you call a group of animals? A: Llama.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a car? Because she was a woman.

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What's worst than realizing your mom is actually a transvestite? Simultaneously realizing this means you are adopted

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What did the president do for the people? ...

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Knock Knock! Whos there? The Game!

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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A white man walks down an alley and sees two black men. They say hello and then are on their way.

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I couldnt remember who Rhiana used to date. Then it hit me.

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What's the difference between Wolfjob and a Jew? Wolfjob is attractive.

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dude... what would you do if i punched you in the face? i would pee on you

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How do you get a clown to shut up? Hit him in the face with an axe

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What do you call this? A sentence in English.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Pain Olympics.

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I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now.

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roses are red violets are blue i am bipolar so am i

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Why did the door close? Because I closed it.

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What did the cow say to the other cow when the boy asked him for something to drink? Probably MOOO! Considering that cows cant say anything except for that

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was high.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops