How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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What did the orphan get christmas? CANCER

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-my friend Cassie is coming over - oh is she cute? -yea but she's not my type -oh that's understandable then

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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Why did the hockey cross the road? To get to KFC.

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Take sebastian deep into the woods and put him down quickly

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When life gives you lemons, you should be wondering how "life" managed to give you those lemons.

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So, how 'bout that airline food?

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what do a carrot and an elephant have in common? theyre both orange except for the elephant.

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I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.

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Why didn't Debbie go to the theme park with the rest of her family? Because she died the week before.

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Why can't you tell jokes in Base 8? Because 7, 10, 11

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What did the Jew say to the German? He said hello.

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1234567890? ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

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roses are red and violets are blue and i was going to write something that rimes but that is not funny here.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is an overused joke on a kid's cartoon. Thank me later.

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If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!

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Yo mamma is so fat her blood type is RAGU

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A man walks into a bar, and says to the bartender, "Do you know where the library is located?" The bartender describes to him that the closest library is three blocks down, next to the red brick building with a green roof.

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What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

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What do you call the worst band ever? Nickelback.

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A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey, 2 beers please" The bartender asks why he is ordering two, as he is alone. The man replies "There is a taxi waiting for me outside."

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Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

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A circus clown riding the cutest miniture Shetland pony both fall over a cliff and die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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