Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

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what is big and can make things come out? a gun

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Why was the family sad? Their house burnt down.

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What did the red cat say to his owner? Nothing.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I am blind.

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your mothers so over weight that when she jumps in a pool she displaces a proportionately larger volume of water then someone with less body mass.

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Why was the Microsoft fan happy? Because Steve Jobs died.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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Husband: Take the f out of way. Wife: There's no f in way! Husband: You just swore

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She was a donut.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was scary.. made by Kevin Kool

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Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

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What did the man with aids say? "I'm dying and there is nothing you can do about it"

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How many Frenchmen does it take to surrender? Probably just one.

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What's worse than 9/11? a dipped glass of milk

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What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A terrorist. What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. What are you racist or something?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

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This is supposed to be an anti-joke.

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knock knock ? Who's there ? idunnop idunnop who ? Eww you've done a what?!

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honest politician

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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