There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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Why is Easter better than christmas? Theres a significantly less chance of getting raped by a man in a Santa Claus costume.

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Transgenders! More than meets the eye! Transgenders! Girl was once a guy! LGBTs wage the battle to destroy The homophobic forces of Christianity! Transgenders! Homos in disguise!

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how come timmy didnt brush his teeth he didnt have a toothbrush

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Why can't helen keller drive? She never got her permit

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Why was 9 afraid of 10 because 10 was a registered sex offender

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What do you call a gay man? Homosexual

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What did the man say when he put his penis in the blender? Arghhhhhhh!

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Why did the blind man have a poo Because he needed one.

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What happens when you fire a machine gun clip into a jew? You are convicted on first degree murder, and most likely sentenced to jail because you can't afford a good lawyer. Orange jumpsuits are uncomfortable.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense Microwave

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Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

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You know what they say about a man's feet... No i don't.

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Why did the racecar driver lose his driver's license? He crashed into an orphanage.

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Whats better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics????? NOT BEING RETARDED!!!!!!!

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What is the difference between Chuck Norris and a frog one wears pants and the Chuck Norris doesn't.

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A man walked into a bar. He said ow.

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when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

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Asians.

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My dad said that if I post anymore jokes on this website, the will hit my head against the keyboaaskdnaji;nsd;asdnasd;

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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What do you call a blue bucket? A blue bucket. What do you call a red bucket? A blue bucket in disguise.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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