Why didn't Hitler like steak? He was a vegetarian.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whatever you do in life, give 100%… unless you’re giving blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the 10-year-old boy get on the computer? He had to finish a project for Social Studies, and it was due the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

UP

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah

thumb_up thumb_down -6

their is a box of mystery. wat is in that box?? do u no wat is in that box!?!?!?!?!?!?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

So a moose, a deer, and a horse walk into a bar. One of the people at the bar was a hunter who was carrying his gun. Several people got up and left after they realized the potential danger of the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did reed eat a fish? He had cancer of the testicles

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you do if a black man throws a gernade at you? You take the pin out, and throw it back.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Moses part the sea Because it was divisible by 2

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's something that really sucks? Having a homicidal cat on your chest.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A Jew walks into a furnace.. The bartender says "What'll you have?" The Jew wonders why there is a bartender in this furnace, then they die.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the girl with no eyes say? I can not see.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a dog, Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Mike Tyson say he would eat his children? Thats mean! friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Why not just vi0late them REALLY REALLY FUCKlNG HARD! Its a Win/Win/Win/Sore ass situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

You are a special guy, and I mean that in a really sweet way, but a retard no. Synapses, tell me more please.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

That awkward moment when you wonder why this person keeps stepping on you, and you realize that you’re a shoe.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow to the knee and had armor so it deflected off. Then I found out my wife was pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the man with one leg good at balancing on one foot? He used crutches.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

k

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why is it that we don't eat clowns? Because in most Western countries cannibalism is illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call Willy Wonka when he is in Colorado? Willy Colorado.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops