How many of my Dad's "fishing buddies" have gone down to the basement for a "meeting", but never returned? 37 so far. I'm concerned. I seriously have never seen my dad fish. Pretty sure he doesn't own a fishing pole.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong is an astronaut. Michael Jackson abuses little kids.

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Why shouldn't you worry about having a baby? Because with all these jokes, babies aren't even going to be around anymore. "What's funnier than a dead baby?" "A dead baby in a clown costume"

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What would happen if RAINN Wilson, the actor, married Michael MANN, the director? They'd probably be arrested; 2 men can't get married in California anymore (thanks a lot, Utah)!

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Whats fat yellow and diabetic Brett lai lan

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A dog walk into a bar, and the bartender asks, "What"ll it be?" The dog then breaks into tears as he realizes the bartender is his father's gay husband.

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Me "knock knock" Tramp "who's there" Me "nobody you havent got a door"

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it's in a chicken coop.

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Q: What's better than the Call Me Maybe video? A: A shot-for-shot parody of it featuring a GIMP! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFxnAITCv5o

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Yo momma is so ugly, that she has no mirrors in her home to avoid the feeling of disgust and sadness she gets whenever she sees her reflexion

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What is funny about 9/11. Nothing you sicko, it was a tragic day for the world.

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Why did the guy die? He had a fatal heart attack.

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Yo mama so fat, i rolled over twice and i still on that bitch.

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knock knock. Who's there... Mormans

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An epileptic man attends a rave.

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Why did the Elf stab the Gnome? Because I was on a bad acid trip.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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What's the difference between and indian man and a barstool....... indians walked on the moon with a cow named chester.

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What is the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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whats polish and black a polish black person

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops