Two guys walk into a bar. They have drinks, pay for them, then get into a car crash killing a mom and her daughter returning home from selecting a wedding dress. The wedding is canceled. Rate This Comment 0

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family attempted to cross the road approximately 30 seconds earlier and were immediately struck by a moving vehicle traveling at 45 miles per hour. He crossed the road to try to comfort his family while they took their final breathes of life. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a man that had recently been laid off from his union job and came down with a disease that is considered uncurable by modern science.

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Why did Tupac Shakur get shot? He was a famous and very controversial celebrity, which naturally led to having a lot of enemies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I ASKED YOU FIRST!

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Ill do a lot more than just try you, anyways, technically I learned to play the piano as a kid, but now I play on a small cheap keyboard (the musical kind) and sincerely, I kinda suck at it now, my abusive parents expected perfection beat the shit out of me blahblahblah, thats really all of it, trauma. My senses, well, when I was a kid I was terrified of gravity (one of the rarest fears in the world) because I had no idea I was consciously shifting things myself. So lets say... If I somehow end up hanging upside down, I just shift it, so my brain believes I am not and I experience no discomfort, there is a lot more to it, ill tell you, damn nose wont stop bleeding and my waifu got a bit scared, she got some bad bronchitis and she still has not recovered a 100 percent, but its just the cough now though... Lets just say that my ability to balance, is about 300-500 percent higher than any regular human, and that I can stand on one leg enough to beat the guiness record book 50 times... ...IIIIF I was in good shape, which I am not.

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Whats the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have a Bar Mitzvah in Holocaust Germany.

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What;s worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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How do you kill a circus? Assuming this is metaphorical usage of the word 'kill', you would withdraw funds, involve the SPCA and offer all the major performers better contracts elsewhere.

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What has four legs, but cannot walk? A giraffe with polio.

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Q:How meny jews can u fit in a mini? A:5 in the seats and 1 million in the ashtray.

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You're so fat. Well maybe to kids born in Africa.

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What's green and has wheels? A refrigerator, I lied about the green and the wheels.

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Uh, well I think of it as quirky and charming, odd weird, maybe unexpected, I could have looked it up but I am dying of lack of sleep here.

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A lion walks in to a bar, and murders everyone inside. This is why animals are not aloud in bars.

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Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fish.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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What did one dinosaure say to the other? Nothin, they are all dead. XD

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What's worse than getting a bruise? AIDS.

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I don't know which one is emptier my bank account or my love life

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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why did haris die...............................................his hair blond? .. u

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Ronan Parke, making Justin Bieber look straight since 2009

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A White, Black, Hispanic, and an Asian man are stranded on a deserted island. They become best friends, proving race should not be a divisive factor in any community.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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