What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A British man walks into a bar. He has to get stitches.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

like if u think princess kenny id the fairest maiden in all the land. if u havent played or watched pewdiepie play south park the stick of truth, disregard this message.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q:What does a black guy say when you steal his fried chicken right in front of him? A:"please restrain from taking food that does not belong to you. If you had kindly asked i would have kindly given you some, and right in front of me too! In all my life I've never seen such rudeness and i grew up in the Bronx."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, or have you been in a wheelchair all your life?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

So, two people park their car and walk into a bar. Wait, no. They were walking into a grocery store and they were riding skateboards, not a car. Then, the kid walks in after them. Oh, did I forget to mention they had children? And also, they're married. So anyway, they walk into this grocery store, and meet a barkeep. Wait no that's ridiculous why would a barkeep be in a grocery store. Let me start over. Bah.. never mind. I forgot what happened next, but it was REALLY FUNNY!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What happens to a black man when he jumps into a pool of clorox? He turns white!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Moooo

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

thumb_up thumb_down +16

shit is shit, even if you paint it purple; its still shit

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you get your children out of a cardboard box? You open the box to see your dead children's corpses

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q:Why didnt the stoner go to college? A:Because he died of lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why didnt the car turn on? Cause the keys werent in the ignition

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the surrealist go to the doctor? Knock Knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a black man on a swing? Depends on what his name is

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Chuck Norris' balls were so big that he went to the doctor to get them checked on and it was discovered that he had testicular cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A young child drops his ice cream and began to cry. Why are you crying asks his mother Because I dropped my ice cream said the child

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Really? Okay! UPPER COMMENT GOOD NIGHT NEROCHAN!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why couldn't the girl swing on the swing set? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why couldn't the prostitute give a proper blow job..... She had no lips

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops