Why did the black man almost go to jail? He rolled a 6 in monopoly, if it was a 7, he would've been sent straight to jail without passing "go"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Sometimes I fantasize about having sexual relations with Oprah Winfrey. Sometimes I don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the blond fail her math test? Because she got all the questions wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was Harry arrested? Because he stabbed multiple children.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How is a fat girl like a tiny motorcycle? She isn't, and you should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking how she might be.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A giraffe walks into a bar.... just kidding, a giraffe wouldnt fit in a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

titanic vs 9/11 who would win? Well the titanic backwards is a ship which saves lives and 9/11 backwards is a building on fire spitting out airplanes

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

GONNA

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what happens when a white guy goes to harlem he gets robbed by 5 to 10 black men

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you kill a blonde? Choke her.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the homeless man get for Christmas?... A warm meal, a shower, and a place to sleep courtesy of the local homeless unit.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? No. Trees don't jump

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A black guy bought fried chicken and grape soda and decided to eat in the park. He had a sip of the grape soda and said "aaaaaaahhh grape drank!" There was a man dressed in a grape coustume drinking out of the fountain.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

They should introduce a filtering system on here. That way any repeated jokes, or idiots taking up a page with a copy and paste routine, could be simply erased by those who are bored with them or find them irritating. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't. It's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the gay person cry? he was said that he couldn't marry his boyfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a disabled person walked into a bar..oh wait

thumb_up thumb_down -2

knock knock whose there? my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man and his dog walk into the park, the man grabs a ball and chucks it for the dog. The dog can not chase after the ball because he has no legs and bites his owners leg.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a duck? both of it's legs are the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Who?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops