Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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What's the main difference between dogs and children? When children reach their teen years they grow up and leave home. When dogs reach their teen years they die of old age.

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God

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What sound did the man make? Splatt. He fell off a building.

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There are two kinds of people in this world: those that finish their sentences

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Richard.

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SteVen Hawking wals into a bar

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knock knock who's there auntie auntie who? anti-joke

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Wright flyer

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Homonyms should be band.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are blue Cabbage

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What is a Will And Dan put together A WillDan HAHAHAHAHA

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Why does Billy Mays yell? He doesn't, he's dead.

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Q. How many Jews can you fit in a blender ? A. 37 but you can try and prove me wrong

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What do u do when life gives u lemons?? Eat them

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Knock Knock Who's there? It is actually not a good idea to say "who's there" to the random person outside. The man could be a robber or a murderer, and will realize a person is inside. He could bomb the door down and do anything to kill you. You should look through the window first, or through the little peep hole. If the person outside is an acquaintance, then you can respond. However it is best to not reply and leave the stranger alone. Safety is key to living a happy joyful life.

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What did Osama Bin-Laden say on 9/11? JENGA!!!!

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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What's old and has wet pants? My grandma with a bladder problem

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why did the Mexican shoot himself? because his wife miscarried, hung herself, and his oldest brother had cancer. also when he was 5, his parents died in a car accident, leaving his abusive uncle to care for him. he also had erectile dysfunction which caused him severe pain. did i mention he was an illegal, homeless immigrant who was addicted to methamphedimine and owed several million dollars to a man who repeatedly raped him anally? he was.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, speaking to a bird would have been considered highly irregular, bordering on insane. He left the bird alone, until the time came to slaughter the bird and take it's nutritious meat.

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whats black and has many friends? a kind sociable black person

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What's hard and orange on the outside, and squidgy in the middle? A tanned man's head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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