roses are red violets are blue im a paki and you are a jew!

-On a scale of one to ten, what's your favourite colour of the alphabet? -The answer is yes, because aliens don't wear hats.

How do you get someone to shut up? Shove a fork down their throat and hang them by thier thumbs

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr.dre

Why does Jordan Abu aita have a small pepe? Because he is black

Why did the clown go to jail? For 23 charges of rape and murder.

Knock Knock Who's There? Dave Dave, who? Jerry, just let me in already Two months later, Dave was convicted on charges of home invasion and the murder of Jerry Jones without bail.

What do you get when you cross chocolate pudding with your mother's slippers? A spanking.

Jews

Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

Why was the man bad at football? - he is chad henne

Whats an Anti-joke?? A joke that possesses the kind of humor based on the surprise factor of absence of an expected joke or of a punch line in a narration which is set up as a joke.

Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in an apple within a worm inside your apple...

A: what does hellen keller say to her mom? B: nothing. she cant speak due to her lack of hearing and visualizing

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None,it eats plants.

your mama so fat she should go see a doctor.

What do you call a boy with no arms? Names.

There was a dog walking down the street with his GF. The dog can have a GF and can talk because this is an anti joke. Then the dog broke up with his GF because he was unhappy with her scent. Dogs are weird that way. Then, sobbing, he saw something through the blur of his tears. The county fair was open! Elated, the dog ran to the fair and waited n the ticket line for a long time. He waited so long, he almost exploded. Once he got to the end, he reached in his coat pocket (yeah, the dog is wearing a coat. It's cold), and found no wallet. FUUUUUUU! By the time he got back, the fair was closed for the day. The next time he came back, he had a hard time getting through the line. When he did, he raced to the ferris wheel. Halfway up, the ferris wheel stopped. CWAP! The neckst daey, thee dwawg whent two the ferries weele and went up. Yay. At the top, he saw his house! there was a chicken crossing the road. WTF? Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Phuck yeah.

A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

Horse Head Huffer Network DIY LOLFUNNY EXAMSMORE FAIL AT 11RATE MY EX GIRLFRIENDWIFI LOLYO DAWG PICS CHECK OUT OUR IPHONE APP! TwitterRssPOPULAR NEWEST RANDOM WRITE YOUR OWN! Anti Joke logo Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below! Your Answer Solve Media New PuzzleSwitch to audio puzzleMore Information... I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service Submit Anti Joke What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Our Updated iOS App! We’ve just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn’t make the original cut (like comments) but they’ll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here. The Anti Joke Book NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we’ve resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book! MOAR?? Want more? You might be interested in… Anti-Joke Chicken Anti-Joke Triceratops Download Our Free App! Hay guise, our iPhone app was just approved! available on the app store! Pictures From Our Other Sites Tumblr_kw8cw9dmft1qzvk4co1_500 JAPAN IS WEIRD Trucks YO DAWG PICS Ice-cream-cone-7bada2 PORN SFW Scan0011 FUNNY EXAMS Bulk-upload-801c63 CREEPY COVER Passedoutphotos-com-c898a0 PASSED OUT PHOTOS Quotes From Other Sites “If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know....” via: Anti-Pickup Line “[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!".” via: Clarksonisms “The Government..” via: Pointless Inventions “The power to revive people with terminal disease, and still they have it..” via: Pointless Super Powers “I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off..” via: Things You Think Only You Do “According to my monitoring, billions of people in the world receive the personal loans at various creditors. So, there is a good chance to get....” via: ethugtxt available on the app store! Anti JokeClarksonismsethugtxtPointless InventionsPointless Super Powers Feedback :: Advertising Inquiries :: Copyright :: Privacy :: Terms of Service ©2008-2014 Anti Joke. All rights reserved. A Horse Head Huffer Production. Horse Head Huffer Rails Hosting provided by BlueBox

What did the dog say to the astro turf? SHUT UP!! I don't want to here your excuses, put the dishes away when you're done with them or so help me! You see the dog had been abused as a puppy and as a result he was always a bit off.

What's the difference between a cult leader and a television personality? On average, 3.2 inches.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...