How old is george washington? anyway thats not the point your pregnant

(A man in a dark van pulls up)... Hey kids can you come help me find my puppy? The kids get in the car and they find the puppy in a near by park. The kids are then safely returned home.

What is the same between a turtle and an eagle? They both fly, apart from the turtle.

i just pooped that is all!

Why did the black man get pulled over by a cop? He was driving 12 miles over the speed limit.

A guy walks into a bar and doesn't buy a 12 pack of coke, pepsi is better but he didn't have enough money to buy either.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red. OH SHIT THE GARDENS ON FIRE!

roses are red violets are blue just telling you in case you didnt know

Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was hungry. Thats why.

My friends new nickname is hawk-eye! He is a jackass...

I would have buttered my bread, but the pool was cold.

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? A: Pick him up and suck on his wang!

What did the fat girl use on Wii Fit? Cheat Codes.

Why did the blind man die? He had eye surgery and the doctor told him when he first opened his eyes there would be a very bright light, turns out he also had alzheimers and wandered onto the train tracks

Why was the bus driver sad? The kid with the icecream had c4 strapped to his chest.

What do you get when you cross a leopard with a camel? Sacked from the zoo.

Q. What has four legs, but can't walk? A. A dog dying of a serious illness...

Why was the Jewish man in jail? He lit a local CVS on fire.

roses are red violets are blue im a paki and you are a jew!

What's 50 feet tall, wears glasses and plays dungeons and dragons. A nerd, I lied about the 50 feet part.

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

How do you get someone to shut up? Shove a fork down their throat and hang them by thier thumbs

What do you call a blank white sheet of paper? Printer paper most likely

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr.dre

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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