Two peanuts walked into a bar one was as'salted'

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Whats the similairity between a dog and a cat? They're both cats, except for the dog.

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wounds are red bruises are blue I've got five fingers the middle ones for you

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Guess what? Bananas

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Why is the duck? Because it has two feet the same.

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Hey, Max!!

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How did the blond know that you like her? You said,"Baby, I like you"

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the beautiful woman marry the ugly poor old man? She was blonde & was therefor not aware that he wasn't rich nor younge.

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A man breaks into your house points a gun at your head and proceeds to fire a blank... The man stares at your for another minute before jumping back out of the window he crawled in from and sitting on the curb outside your house rethinking his life choices.

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that awkward moment when your teachers a duck

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Yeah, Eliza, its me, its so strange, you are the only one I remember from highschool, I was worried you had forgotten about me, anyway, yeah type as if you where speaking to him, and dont worry, I know I could not keep a secret back then, and I told Nero, so and he promised me he would kindly break my fingers if I told anyone, besides I dont do that anymore trust me.

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I hate it when I go running and my diick always gets road rash from being dragged So I cut it off

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kaite is dumb that is true

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Netflix and chill

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell into a well? Nothing. She died upon impact and her family mourned her death for years.

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What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? That feels quite good.

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i keep getting thumbs down...

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Why did the chines were sunglasses? It was sunny.

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Q. What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? A. A bench is an inanimate object used for sitting on while a Mexican is a human being.

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how do u make an infant cry? hit it in the face with a full grown salmon.

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Whats worse than burning your foot? Getting it eaten off by a cannibal.

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If Jimmy had 5 apples and his brother had 5 apples then their father would have been married to their mother before they were born.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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