They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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Why was the orange so serious? He was trying to concentrate.

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What do you call a seagull that flew into the bay? Wet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gun store to buy a gun. After years of abuse and mockery, he was tired of being called "chicken", and was going to shoot up the entire school

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!

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Why couldn't little Sally fall asleep? She was on fire.

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What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

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have you heard of the new german microwave? it seats about 30

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Why did the chicken cross the road?... To get to the other side.

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A horse walks into a bar. bar tender: "Why the long face" *bu dum tss" horse: "My wife died of terminal cancer."

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What do you call a building full of black people Jail

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a dog? Niether did she

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A old man walks into a hospital He doesn't come back out

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Why was the young Jewish boy afraid at camp? Because his scoutmaster is a pedophile.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy plus size clothes because small size clothes would be inappropriate for her to wear.

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Why did the man fall of his bike? He wasn't on his bike, i drowned him yesterday.

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Q: How do you stop a baby from crying? A: You hit it with brick.

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Why didn't the black man eat a packet of crisps? Because he didn't have any.

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Q: What do you do when you see a man with no arms and no legs walking down the street? A: You wonder how the hell he is walking

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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THIS ONE IS MIIINE THIS ONE IS MIIINE I AM TOTALLY TIFA I AM TOTALLY TIFA! This one apparently.

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What does Snoop Dogg eat when he's sick? Chicken Noodle Snoop.

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What is intangible and has every color on the rainbow? A rainbow.

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops