Whats the difference between a pizza and a baby? Humans don't eat babies, other than a Cannibals because some tend to eat babies.

What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why suck a long face the horse shits on the floor and walks out

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

Q- what did the magician say after the sawed the woman in half ? A- call an ambulance !

Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

Knock! Knock! Who's There? The Police. Open the damn door. Nobody Is Home.

Q: Why did the man cross the road? A: Cause he felt like it.

What's worst than the Holocaust? No Wi-Fi

a child swallows a cleaning product, why is he given chocolate milk? to make him happy before he dies

Why did the baby's bedroom smell so bad? The mom farted.

doctor,doctor my eyesight is getting worse, you are certainly right, this is the post office

People just dont care about me, yesterday I got a coconut in my head and... AWWWW thats horrible! Yeah I... So did the coconut make it?

Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? It got hit by a stone. Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by the first Koala. Why did the third Koala fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game. Why did the Kangaroo die? It was hit by three falling Koalas.

What did the tree say to the other tree?....nothing cause trees can't talk!

What's brown, no one likes and has had a bad history? Dog poop

Knock knock whos there telephone telephone who telephone refiridgerator

Chuck Norris does not get sick; He only gets sick when his immune system is weak.

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What did the Jew say to the German? He said hello.

What did Mr. Sandman do whrn the boy asked for one too many dreams, nothing because Mr. Sandman was the boys bitch.

What's a fat chinaman? A guy who somehow got obese on rice. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?!

why is king kong so fat? because he eats to mucj

What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.