your mother is so fat that her doctor advised her to stick to a strict diet and exercise routine to help her lose weight

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A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

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You are pretty bad emulations, first of all you should all swear and cuss a lot, that way you never get green thumbs and you all get minimal attention (negative attention) from people whose messages do not concern. I mean come on, if you are all different, you gotta admit that you are all good at typing like the very same person, its just that, none of them are good at sounding as the guy they are trying to emulate.

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yo momma is so stupid, she probably in in the bottom 1% of her age group

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme others don't.

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2 + 2 = fish

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: She didn't have any arms.

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Whats green, and says i'm a frog? A talking frog.

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It was Valentines Day today, I thought I should get her something... I brought flowers to her grave.

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What do you call a Mexican in a kitchen? A chef.

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Why did the little boy stick a fork in the electrical socket? Because he wanted to escape his abusive stepfather

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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How do you tell if a kitten is alive? Throw it at the wall.

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I <3 Hitler

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why was little jonny not playing in the baseball game? his legs were shattered in a terrible lawn mowing accident.

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What did the duck wear to go swimming? A bathingsuit!

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They are both purple except for the rabbit.

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Why did the cat cross the road? he wanted to be a docter.

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What do you do when a taco eater gives you guacamole? Thank him, and politely smash it in the face of the nearest trashy tourist.

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Where's a bad place to park your car? In a no-parking zone

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oooh look a banshee

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Erectile Dysfunction.

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An Icelandic boy hangs himself because of peer pressure. His family mourns for their loss

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Hey! Where is my tracker?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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