Lard and Liz lard,lard and Liz

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Q: What's funnier than a baby in a blender? A: A baby in a clownsuit in a blender.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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I just witnessed a horrible accident today! It was like a silent movie, but with SOUND!!!!

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100 chefs walk into a bar

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Why do they give old people Viagra at nursing homes? Because erectile function decreases with increasing age, and it would be unfair to needlessly deny senior citizens the right to consensual intercourse if that is what they want.

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Knock knock Who's there? Taco Taco who? Taco bell

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A christian, a Muslim, and a Jew walked into a bar... Then the Muslim shoots the Jew and blows himself up.

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DARK FACT: A ratchet black chick would say that was racist.

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why was ej's penis hard? because he had just got done having fine exquisit sex which he had ejaculated with a sturn body builder name frank who he had been seeing for the past few months.

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from south park what do u call a jew on a rope no one ever said the answer, so my answer is a jew on a rope.

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Doctor, people dont notice me anymore, doctor?... HEEEEEEEEEEEY!

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Win industrial estate, Newry

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Yo mama so fat! She should be concerned because diabetes is a serious problem that can lead to a heart attack. Also STOP EATING MCDONALDS.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks.

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Q: How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One

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Once upon a time, there was a man. He was black. The end.

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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A nuclear device is dropped on hiroshima. Does it make a sound? The answer is yes because the americans are laughing in Enola Gay

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A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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A farmer has 17 sheep standing in a field and all but 9 drop down and die. How many sheep are left? It doesn't matter. A CIA sniper guns the farmer down, along with his family and the remaining sheep. The other agents move in and remove all evidence that the government is experimenting with a new nerve agent.

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My friend Keith found a worm in his apple. He ate it anyways

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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