Three men walk into a bar, the bartender asks why are you three men in here? The men look confused and suddenly leave

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I hope you take your own wise words to heart Nero, how would you like to claim to be me and get our ship somewhat on land before it all goes to pieces? After all I have been claiming to be you for a long long time.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you through them.

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A school bus full of orphans falls of a cliff.

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My mother-in-law fell down a stairway. I turned to my wife and said “Call an ambulance!!”

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knock knock whose there? suck my a s s barf

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roses are blue, violets are red. I am color blind

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What did the monster under the bed say to another monster? I have the odd feeling that someone is on top of the bed.........

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A black man orders a pizza to be delivered to his house. He is delightfully pleased at the speed in which the pizza was delivered and decided he would order from that pizza shop again in the near future.

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Two friends go on a hunting trip together. One friend says to the other "Knock, knock." The other friend doesn't respond because he was mauled by a bear.

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Steve: Ask me if I'm a tree. John: Are you a tree? Steve: No.

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Q. Why didn't the Atheist enter the church? A. Because Atheists do not go to church so he had no reason to enter.

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Why did the first koala fall off the tree? He Died Why did the second koala fall off the tree? He was stapled the the first koala

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Why couldn't the pirate get into the movie? Because he was armed and clearly inebriated.

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http://citizenmcgeedotcom.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/borat-banana-hammock.jpg?w=300

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Q: Why didn't Jack go up the hill? A: He had prior engagements.

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Straight man: Gays can't have babies so they shouldn't be allowed to have sex. Gay man: But you got a vasectomy last year, so you can't make babies either. The straight man sees the irony, realizes how judgmental he has been and never has sex again because he maintains his opinion that gays shouldn't have sex.

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What happens when you drive down the road? you get to the end of the road

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A guy watches a porno. When it is over, he said; "Wow, that was deep"

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An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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roses are red violets are blue i am bipolar so am i

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Yo mammals so stupid, she's got AIDS!

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Sticks and stones can break my bones Well maybe you shouldn't play in the tree anymore

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Q-What do you call a woman in the kitchen? A- A woman making me a damn sammich thats what.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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