A boy walks into a bar. Because he was under-age, security kicked him out as soon as possible and alerted his parents.

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Why did the man fall of his bike? He wasn't on his bike, i drowned him yesterday.

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Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

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What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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When is a door not a door? Never, a door is an inanimate object and is thus incapable of transforming.

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Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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what did the homeless man get for christmas.......................nothing

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Knock knock, Who's there The delivery man The delivery man who Just take this package

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A buddhist,islamist and a prohibitionist walk into a bar.

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Q: Why are Cats called Lolcat? A: They forgot to put "i" between l & c

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Where is one place everyone eventually goes to rest? A cemetery.

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What'd the left nut say to the right nut? How's it hangin?

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What color do you get when you mix blue and red? Purple.

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's homeless.

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What's beauitful and disgusting at the same time? Menstration. Jk it's just disgusting.

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What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

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Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

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After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

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Hey, Batman Yeah? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents!

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

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Who is worse then Charlie Sheen? Hitler.

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How many dead babies can you fit in my car? None, I don't allow anyone to put dead babies in my car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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