how do you know when your in love? massive erection.

whats worse then getting fired from your job? Getting raped by a giant gorilla with a 4 foot long penis following by being bitten by a very poisonous rattle snake and slowly dying a painful death.

Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

Q.What's green and smells like grass??? A. Grass

Two drums and a sybol fall off the edge of a cliff. They hit a random pedestrian at the bottom killing him instantly. da-dum ch

billy has 100 candy bars he eats 78 of them what does he have now diabetes

i dont know why but when ever i see jew they always say "whats up?"

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

Nero, thank you for this opportunity, I desire to join the shadows, I left a thumbs up. Michelle

What do you call two grown Mexican men playing tennis? Two adults showcasing their talent in a friendly game of tennis.

What do you call a Muslim in control of a plane? A pilot

What do you call a black man that has just gotten out of jail? A former criminal who has served his time in prison and is now trying to redeem himself by becoming a respectable member of his community

What did the Scientist say after he created Frankenstein? - I just created Frankenstein.

you know what is so funny hillary clinton!!!!!!

who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Osama Bin Laden

What's worse than waking up with a hangover? Not waking up at all

Why are roses red ? Ass in my face .

What did the tree say to the boy? Nothing. As i recall, trees are unable to speak and or show signs of emotion.

What did the French-Italian couple name their child? Angelo Pierre Smith, giving tribute to the father's uncle Angelo, and the mother's great-grandfather, Pierre.

Q:What does a black guy say when you steal his fried chicken right in front of him? A:"please restrain from taking food that does not belong to you. If you had kindly asked i would have kindly given you some, and right in front of me too! In all my life I've never seen such rudeness and i grew up in the Bronx."

If you play a Justin Bieber album backwards, I swear you can hear satanic messages... but even worse, if you play it forward, you hear Justin Bieber.

i like having monkeys lick peanut butter off my nipples

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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